Deep in the hollow of the small remote Village of St. Charles, Michigan; along the banks of the Bad River in Lumberjack Park at the beginning of the Rail/Trail, strange noises can be heard coming from a old vacant building which is occupied mysteriously by the “ VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD”. Blood curdling screams of pure HORROR…… heart wrenching pleas for help are heard nightly throughout the village…… Do you hear it???? The rhythmic pounding of a beating heart….. Shhhhhhhh, listen very closely; I think that it skipped a beat or two…… wait a minute, what is that? The howling of the wolves locked in a solitary room waiting to tear your flesh apart. … Now what is that??? Dark shadowy figures appearing out of the darkness…
Oh! It's me, the GATEKEEPER… we definitely have to get rid of those mirrors… not good for one's nerves. if you know what I mean!! Welllll…. Greetings and salutations again from another wonderful fright- filled season at the “Village Of The Living Dead”. We all look so forward to seeing you each year….And you never let us down…. And we certainly hope that we DON’T let you down…. By the way….we do appreciate any and all comments from our visitors…. So don’t be shy….. Let us know what you think….. We’re always open to suggestions and comments. Just click on my name: the GATEKEEPER, or my partner in evil the STONEKEEPER, and we will forward all comments and suggestions to the important people that need to know these things……. Who knows? You may even get a reply!!!!
Moving on in the direction of horror, don’t you just love the background music?? It hits you deep in your heart… the deep booming sounds.. And then the high screams of pure horror… you know some of you didn’t even make it through the first door again this year! What is up with that????? But don’t worry we won’t tell anyone… You know who you are!!
First of all we do want to THANK YOU all for a wonderful season again…. 9 thousand of you visited our little VILLAGE….. And thanks to all of you who waited so patiently in line on some of those busy nights…… thank you thank you! I know it was worth it, because you told me so. I always look forward to seeing all your fright filled faces as you enter the building to pay for your little adventure….. And not to worry….. We always remember repeat offenders……. We never forget the smell of one's FLESH……. Sooooo let’s get on with this years tour……
As you turn down Water Street there is no way you can miss us…. In fact your can see our Little Village of HORRORS from the corner… Do you feel the little hairs on the back of your neck starting to rise??? Give it some time it will happen. Or do you feel the hot breath of someone behind you yet???? TRUST ME ….. YOU WILL!!!! As you park your vehicle, you may notice a few of our creatures wondering aimlessly… they are searching for lost souls….. Could you be one of those souls? Are you lost by any chance? Don’t worry… If you don’t bother them … they won’t bother you! Now quickly get into that line before there is a two hour wait. Notice if you're hungry, the High School Band Association has refreshments available for you. Please take advantage of this service…….we don’t want you to come through the Village on a empty stomach now do we ???? Besides it’s much more interesting for the mad butcher 
inside if you have a full stomach!!
The old CRYPTKEEPER was back for the 2006 season ….. how about that?! The old man is getting too old and needs some rest now and then….. And boy did he make a big come back this year!!!! It was good to see the old fart. Oh … and have you noticed BILLY BOB was in different areas of the haunt this year …. He and his partner in crime whirling that chain saw as you slid out of the haunted house.…. They just love to have a little fun with you all…. That’s why we dug up old leather face (Kind of a cross between scar face and the Tin man….) for the month…….. hahhahahahahah!! And what did you think of the beating heart he held in his hand ???? Did he add a little fear to your already frightful delight? And of course you may have been there on the nights that the chain saws were out to carve some flesh…. … wasn’t that a little much??? One certainly knows when they have had enough … the smell of those gas fumes that is….. Makes the mind a little more molded…. Makes one easier to be confused and dazed.
As you approach the entrance where the admission price is set at $5.00 per person and ABSOLUTELY NO REFUNDS…….and we do mean NO REFUNDS…. No matter what you say … or what your excuse is, you’re not getting your money back …. After all it goes for a good cause: back into the community to youth oriented activities. Besides, you paid to be scared; if you were too scared to get through the first door, then I guess we did our job!! And we do want to THANK YOU for this contribution to our youthful community. Oh… and please remember to be kind to our collection staff in the lobby. They live on the edge of horror…… I know because I am one of them…..heheheheheh!! Notice the new addition … have your photo taken in a real casket for only $3.00 per person; and then you could even take a piece of the “Village of the Living Dead” home with you …a lovely slime green T-Shirt for only $15.00!
Oh well... moving along … You can almost smell the odor of death, or maybe flesh rotting but don’t worry they 
all remember who you are …… especially if you are repeat offenders…. They never forget the smell of your flesh….!!! Please remember to leave all your sharp objects and lighters in your cars because you will be scanned before entering... After you're scanned you will be allowed to enter through the doorway where you will be greeted by a zombie who will direct you to the counter where you will be greeted by another couple of Monk zombies who will be taking your money for your frightful adventure through our lovely chamber of horrors……better known as the grove. Then after you pay, you're pointed into the direction you are to go…. on your own.... you approach the stone door…..wait a second … the door will open when its ready … go ahead .. get a little closer… He.. Mr. Evil... needs to smell your flesh before he can open that door…. After the door opens … move in quickly...down the long narrow hallway … wow… this is a little close isn’t it … and just in case you get a little disorientated the glowing skeleton is there to help you find your way!
Still lurking in the darkness are spirits … so move along... through the narrow opening, up the ramp … toward the creepy moss-covered bridge… and who is that hanging there … oh my it's Kicker! Beware... evil lurks ...keep moving down the ramp … and hel-LO! Mr. Stakeout … he gets impaled from behind as blood squirts all over ...then he vomits blood and other mucus crap …. Yukkkkk! Move on into the maze where Freddy or Michael is waiting for you …zig zag in and out of the dark maze... Beware do you see those Walking Skeletons... to guide you into the Hall of Lost Souls... Moving on into the darkness down the twisting hall then quickly duck down and move under the casket into the cemetery before that lost soul scoops you up into her world… …. All the way in...move forward into the dark ….. Beware of the bodies floating around in that room!
Quickly into the area of the rattling casket …through that door and out into the Chain Saw scene. These young hard rockers are just wheeling those chain saws hoping to add some arms and legs to their collection … and believe me heads will roll … so you DO want to move quickly … and beware is that a scarecrow hanging up there… quickly move on into the hallway that leads you … right … into the Evil Clown scene .. make sure you stay inside of the fenced area … because they mean business….whirling those bats around … oh my … go into the next opening and into the dark and as you round the corner … what is that … it's … can’t quite make it out … until you get a little closer …. It's Jolt being hot wired… go ahead and touch those jail bars if you dare...But be prepared for 9 volts of electricity to run through your body .. .just enough to move you into the next opening … the body parts all over the room and the smell of blood... oh my, it’s the Pig Man from Saw shopping and grinding, sparks flying run for your life out the doorway and into the darkness…
Feeling your way around the corner with the glow of a light … what... it says Bates Motel … and there she (he) is.. Psycho’s mom taking care of It's Alive … come on kiss the baby… make her happy … or she’ll add you to her list!! Moving into the long dark hallways … remember use your left hand as your guide …… ouch …. Ouch … 9 more volts of electricity to guide you on your way …… keep moving... and look out he’s back!! Glow Head himself …. Floating all around in the dark hallway … the amazing thing is he has no body … moving in the darkness.
You're approaching a few steps that lead you to the Black Hole twisting and turning as you try to go through it without loosing your balance and back into the darkness at the end of the Hole … now start moving forward through the long climbing hallway as it narrows and reaches the second story …….. where to greet you is another one of our own that helps you to jump into the Worm Hole … where you slide down two stories into the presence of Billy Bob and his Electric Chain saw…..get up quick and move on your way through the hallway and out the door! Down the slope and there right before you is another ghoul.. MR. TEETH will assist you back out of the building and hopefully back to your life zone again.
As you're trying to regain your composure…. take a deep breath ….. in fact about ten of them …. YOU MADE IT!!! What an accomplishment!! But don’t be fooled! There is always next year. We will all be here waiting for you ..and all of your friends also…… so come back and see us real soon…… You Hear???
Waiting patiently to smell your flesh again…..
MUHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAaaaa
THE GATEKEEPER